INSIDE: Even when it feels like you’ll never achieve the happiness you desire, if you let this article in, it will show you the simple secret to how to have a happy life in spite of yourself.
For most of my life, I couldn’t seem to find true happiness no matter what I did.
I tried everything, including:
- Self-help books, personal development programs, retreats, and seminars…
- Journaling, meditating, taking supplements, changing my diet, exercising, being more spiritual…
- Changing jobs, working for myself, getting divorced, getting engaged…
- Taking up a new hobby, taking a vacation, spending time in nature, setting goals…
- Watching movies all day, drinking wine, and so much more.
I kept thinking I would find the thing that would make me feel fulfilled and happy, but nothing seemed to work.
And I wondered – along with the people who had to put up with me – if I’d ever really be happy.
It wasn’t until recently that something shifted for me, and I honestly did discover the secret to being happy.
Before I reveal the secret, I feel it’s important to point out that I’m having a hard time writing this article, even though the message is so important…
It’s because what I’m trying to explain can feel ridiculous and unattainable even though it is extremely simple. I know because it felt that way for me.
Even though I have been a self-help junkie all my life, I still would roll my eyes when someone would tell me what I’m about to share with you.
But while I feel like this information is just going to annoy a lot of people, it is nevertheless the most important piece of information I have learned in my lifetime. So bear with me.
I know that when the shift happens for you like it recently did for me, then this article will ring true for you and you’ll understand how to have a happy life in spite of yourself. It’s my hope that you’ll be able to take this article in and allow it to change your life.
Happiness Isn’t Always Easy
Sometimes, it’s just easier to be unhappy. Know what I mean?
For instance, it’s easier to complain about how tired you are than it is to do something about it. It’s easier to get annoyed at the stuff that doesn’t go right instead of looking for the silver lining. And it seems to be really easy for people to join the “I hate my boss club” than it is to find a job where they are truly happy.
How many times do you say “ugh” when you’re getting out of bed in the morning? The mere thought of what has to be tackled that day is the reason so many of us hit snooze until the minute we absolutely have to get up.
Can you count on two hands the number of times you’ve woken up excited to start the day?
How depressing, right?
But, when you really think about it, is life really as bad as all of that?
Life Really Isn’t As Bad As We Make It… and I Have Evidence
While life may not always be easy, it isn’t as miserable as we make it out to be.
This is evident by the fact that there are plenty of people who have it way worse than we do, but they’re not complaining. They’re not even unhappy. In fact, they’re downright thriving.
We all know these people. It’s your great grandmother, who lived in a one-room house, but who always had a smile on her face. It’s your neighbor who is dying of cancer but has an incredible attitude every time you see him.
It’s Jon Morrow. He has muscular dystrophy and cannot move anything but his face, yet he created an online magazine that is worth millions and now writes inspirational articles to help people achieve their dreams.
It’s Nick Vujicic, a man who has no arms and no legs, yet he tours the world speaking about how to live a life without limits.
What do these people have that we don’t?
How are they able to lead a life of happiness even after the mess that life has thrown at them?
Meanwhile, we don’t have one ounce of the issues they have to deal with, yet we feel a deep yearning for happiness and it feels like we’ll never feel fulfilled.
The Simple Solution That Will Change Your Life the Instant You Get It
I know it seems crazy that there could be a simple solution to happiness, even after the longing you feel on a daily basis, even after everything you’ve tried that hasn’t worked, even after it seems like your happiness is not in your control.
Yes, there really is a simple solution. It’s so simple that I can tell it to you in two measly words.
It’s so simple that you will not believe me, and you will roll your eyes, and many of you will stop reading this article. Like I said, I was one of those people, so I know how you feel.
But I’m also now a believer because at some point recently, it was presented to me in such a way at the right time that I believed it, and I adopted it, and I now reap the benefits.
It’s my hope that it’s the right time for you and that I present this in just the right way because it really is the key to happiness if you can only believe it.
Are you ready for it?
Here it is…
To be happy…
And here come the eye rolls, I know. And I’m sorry, but it’s the real deal, and I’ll spend the rest of the article proving it to you.
When is Happiness Possible?
Happiness is always possible, in any situation, no matter what, because happiness is just a mindset.
If being happy is hard for you, you are the culprit. (I know you’re ready to hit me right now, but please stick with me.)
Even if your husband is a raging alcoholic or your son is being a typical teenager. Even if you are stuck in a wheelchair. Even if you are struggling to make ends meet each month.
No matter what your circumstances are, you can always choose to play the victim or the champion. You can always decide to be happy or unhappy.
Happiness is something that is claimed, not something you’re handed. The people who are happy are the people who have changed their mindset – they’ve decided to be happy in the midst of what is going on around them.
In order to be happy in life, you have to just be happy now.
Believe me, I understand where you might be coming from and that you might want to hit me right now. I’ve been there and I get it. I had read numerous books and articles telling me that in order to be happy, you just have to choose to be happy in the moment, and I always said, “That’s such crap! If I could do that, I would have.”
But then something shifted for me recently and I discovered the truth in that theory:
Happiness is really all about mindset. And mindset is a choice.
When I started choosing to just be happy in the moment, I started to feel happy in general, and then everything turned around for me.
How to Be Happy
So here’s the thing. Happiness is not something that happens to you. It’s something you become.
That’s why you can “be happy” whenever you want.
Right now, you can choose to be a loving wife or a comforting parent. You can choose to see the positive in something that seems negative. And you can choose to be kind even when you feel like strangling someone. You can be all of those things even when you don’t feel that way.
And you can choose to be happy even when you don’t feel happy too. The only reason you don’t is because you don’t believe you can.
But let me ask you…
And please pardon the harshness of this example, but I wanted to make a point…
If you had to put a smile on your face, take a deep breath, and do something to make your child laugh right now or your child was going to die, could you?
Of course you could. And the good news is…
That’s all you have to do to be happy right now.
Have you ever noticed that it’s impossible to smile without feeling happy? If not, give it a try.
Are You Making Happiness Impossible?
I’ve been there, so I am certainly not pointing a finger, but just know that if you are constantly complaining about your life and giving excuses for why things aren’t working out (even if they don’t feel like excuses), you are setting yourself up for more unhappiness.
Stop complaining about how tired you are and how crappy you feel. No one wants to hear your complaints, except for other unhappy people who want to compete for the rank of “most unhappy.” Focusing on the negative stuff in your life is only making more negative stuff happen to you, so why do it?
Here’s Why It Is Essential To Be Happy Even When You’re Not
Happiness Fuels Passion
When you feel happy, you naturally take steps toward achieving your dreams, which then leads to more happiness.
We all want more passion in our lives but too many of us have let our dreams go by the wayside, and when we aren’t striving to achieve our dreams, we aren’t really living. When you feel happy, the following happens:
- You have more energy
- You feel more inspired
- Because you feel more energetic and inspired, you feel more capable of achieving bigger goals
- Since you feel capable, it feels easier to achieve your dreams, which means you take action
- Because you take action on your goals, things start happening for you and you get closer and closer to achieving your dreams
- You then start achieving your dreams, which makes you happy
- And the cycle repeats
You Attract More of What You Are Feeling
The law of attraction is a very real part of our lives, and it is happening in your life whether you think about it or not, just like the law of gravity.
The way the law of attraction works is that the energy we put out is attracted back to us, and the energy we put out is determined by how we are feeling. Any positive emotion you feel will attract positive things to you, and any negative emotion you feel will attract negative things to you. The stronger you feel it, the greater the magnetic power.
Here’s the thing that is important… Our feelings come from the way we are being. I already explained this above when I gave the example that we cannot smile without feeling happy. Here are some other examples:
- In the book, Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes talks about how she practiced the Wonder Woman Pose in order to make herself feel more confident.
- Sales people are often taught to stand up when they talk to prospects on the phone because it makes them feel more powerful.
- On the other hand, have you ever noticed that when you have lazy days where you just lie around, you feel more tired than when you are doing things?
Bottom Line: Feelings follow actions.
And everything that comes to you in life is a result of the way you are being.
So take notice of whether you feel good or bad on a regular basis because you will attract things that match how you feel.
What We Focus On Expands
I can’t remember who said it, but it’s the truth: whatever we focus on expands.
Don’t believe me? Here are some examples of things that happen on a daily basis that prove this point:
- Have you ever thought about buying a new car and you previously hadn’t seen many of them before? Next thing you know, you see that car everywhere. It’s not because there are more of them now; it’s because now you are focusing on that car.
- Maybe you are fixated on bad behavior from your kids and it feels like it is constant. Then, you shift your focus and notice something good they do, and then the bad behavior becomes less and less.
- Did you ever go on a diet, which meant you couldn’t have certain foods, and then all you wanted was those foods? It’s because you were putting more focus on those foods.
It’s important to focus on the things that make us feel good – that’s what we want to be giving our attention to.
The problem is that it’s so easy to complain about what isn’t going well in our lives, but that means that is what we are focusing on. That’s why we keep getting more of the same old crap.
When we stop giving attention to the things that make us unhappy, those things go away or resolve themselves, and they are replaced with the positive things that we are now putting our attention on.
How to Have a Happy Life by Changing Your Perspective
If you want happiness, there is one thing you absolutely must take away from this article, and that is…
Waiting for happiness will never work. You have to claim happiness for yourself now.
You have to decide enough is enough, and that you’re going to be happy starting now no matter what is happening in your life.
No one is responsible for your happiness but you and your life conditions will never perfectly line up to create your happiness.
You hold the key to your happiness in your hand right now – it’s called mindset.
Make up your mind to choose happiness, not later… now!
Fake it until you aren’t faking it anymore. It won’t take as long as you think.
Ask yourself: If this is the worst it will ever get, but it won’t change, can you be happy with that? My guess is that if you knew you’re life wasn’t going to change, you might throw a little tantrum or have a pity party, but then when that’s over, you’d probably just figure out a way to make the best of it. Otherwise, you are doomed to a life of unhappiness.
Now, I’m not saying your life will not get better. On the contrary, when you accept your situation and learn how to be happy in spite of it, everything in your life will get better, as if by magic.
The problem is we yearn for something else. If we know we can’t have anything else, we learn to accept, and with acceptance comes release. With release comes neutralization, which means the problem goes away. It often takes a major life event for people to change their lives, but if you can start that transformation on your own by adopting this new perspective, you’ve learned how to be in control of your own happiness.
Accepting that things suck makes them stop sucking – but it has to be genuine.
Acceptance leads to resolution, whereas control leads to resistance.
You can’t force yourself to be happy, but you can accept your way to happiness. It’s just that the acceptance has to come with a desire to make the best of what you are accepting. Accepting and wallowing in the miserableness of your reality will not inspire change.
Some Other Helpful Tips About Happiness
Look at Happiness as a Responsibility
Make happiness a priority. Why? Because no one wants to be around you if you’re miserable – well maybe miserable people do, but let’s shoot higher. Plus, simply put, you don’t want to be unhappy.
Everyone wants to be happy, but we’ve become accustomed to thinking in a way that doesn’t support our happiness. Take responsibility for your happiness and for the energy you bring to this world.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
One of the biggest reasons we are unhappy is because we are so worried about what other people think of us that we don’t actually do what we want or be whom we want in life.
Until you start living your life on your own terms, you will struggle to find happiness.
Be a Goofball
Be silly more often just for the heck of it. Smile – a lot!
Sometimes we forget that we can have fun no matter what. My mom always said, “If you’re bored, it means you’re a boring person,” and there is a lot of truth to that. Life is what we make of it – what will you make of yours?
If you made it to the end of the article, I’m assuming you may have rolled your eyes at me a couple times and/or wanted to smack me. But you kept reading, so I am also assuming you had some light bulb moments as well.
The information in this article completely transformed my life when I finally let it in, and I truly hope it helped you have a breakthrough moment as well. If it did, I want to hear about it – Please comment below or pop me an email!
To summarize in one phrase, I will quote Bobby McFerrin who sang such a wonderful song in the 80’s…
“Don’t worry, Be happy!”
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